Captain Hook vs Maleficent (2024)

• 1 Lyrics
  • 1.1 Captain Hook:
  • 1.2 Maleficent:
  • 1.3 Cruella de Vil:
  • 1.4 Ursula:
  • 1.5 Gaston:
  • 1.6 Jafar:
  • 1.7 Scar:
  • 1.8 Frollo:
  • 1.9 Hades:
  • 1.10 Yzma:
  • 1.11 Dr. Facilier:
  • 1.12 Wreck-It Ralph:

Yo, ho! The Captain of rapping and sacking a village is filling the meter

Against this wicked bitch rip off, no question I’m itching to beat her.

Attacking with passion like Patton. Magnificent bitch I read her book!

I warn ye before ye rap with me: this trap beat comes with a killer Hook.

My film spans decades Descendants marks you decline into decadence

And your legend's been dented, Maleficent. So much for being malevolent.

You got pissy for missing a christening. Impotent rage and prophecy filling!

Smee, dismiss this wicked bitch at once: Missy yer a Croc of a villain!

Really? Bringing in your first and only mate to finish your verse?

I took down 3 of them, a kingdom, and a princess with a curse.

While Jake and his toddler crew make a mockery of you, I’m the evilest fairy godmother (ooh)

Calling me a “wicked bitch”? Please, I’ll get you and your little Smee sea dog too!

So call off your attacks, you stand no chance against me, Hoffman!

Losing to Tink, you’d think you’d shrink whenever our paths crossed, damn

I’m the cruelest! Jolie rocks the Jolly Roger harder than ever, man

Firing off disses like cannonballs, while your hits seem to Never land.

Cruelest? Did you summon me? I think you'll find I'm quite the devil.

You two are weaklings, other "villains" couldn't possibly get on my level.

Of PETA’s nightmares, I’m the worst! Chasing after puppies with glee!

But I’ll turn your croc ‘to a purse, after I feed him your f*ckbuddy Smee

And Mal, dear, a wingless fairy’ll scare me as much as a ghost: nary

A little prick undid you twice (yikes!), Turn into a dragon? Results may vary.

I’ll turn these bitches into my next fur coat: a faux villain shawl,

Because I don't need magic to stand out, I'm the best villain of all.

Oh, you poor souls, how unfortunate to face me

The better half of Medusa’s ‘bout to let loose upon you babies

Cruella, you’re no devil, Lady Gaga’s more mysterious

Release the Kraken, Captain, take a crack at who’s superior

Crack a porthole, inferior mortals, your flows all stink, it’s true,

But best beware Maleficent, or I’ll take your tongue, too.

I’m electric, epically wretched, and all indebted are fated

to witness the sea beauty give the definition of true hatred

Who do you all think you re? You fools are tangling with the wrong man!

Nobody spits quick wit disses against sh*tty nitwits quite like Gaston can! (Cuz no oooooone…)

(Raps like Gaston!) I’m a Beast on the mic, shots fired faster than from my musket!

(Disses saps like Gaston!) I at least most won my fight, you all quickly kicked the bucket!

(Flows like Gaston!) A pirate more girly than Sparrow, surely turned into seafood with the squid,

(Steals the show like Gaston!) Then there’s the fur hunting c*nt, and the dragon I’ll ruin faster than her movie did!

There’s not one who could match thus! A town hero, remembered even after he passed on!

As a specimen yes, I’m intimidating, and I say I’ve killed the beat! (My what a guy that Gaston!)

You're no more than common street thieves, when compared to me, see?

You wish you could beat this mystical, lyrical genie

But sadly for you, I am your master when it comes to the mic

I'm a sly supreme sultan sorcerer spitting snake-like

The sea bitch is outdone by throwing out a hook, line and sinker,

All of Hook's lines are stinkers, leave him and his boat look like sinkers

Rhymes like he's snorting dust, and I’m not talking 'bout Tinkerbell's

Gaston, guess who is rubbing my lamp tonight, I'm thinkin' Belle

SILENCE! Be Prepared for a true villain Majesty,

A true killer, the monarch with no wish to grant amnesty.

I'm surrounded by idiots... All fell victim to pride,

While I stormed mine, a shere motherf*cker of a feline!

Ask Simba why they call me Scar: cause I leave 'em.

Break the Circle of Life of those who try leave me beaten!

I laughed like a hyena when you all stepped into the ring

I’ve pushed you all past the brink, now Long Live the King!

Beata Maria, you know I did what God wanted, of this fact I am justly proud. (Et tibit Pater)

Beata Maria, you know I’m so much breather than this pathetic and vulgar crowd. (Quia peccavi nimis)

Then tell me, Maria, why these fools step to me, why I'm to be settled with their immoral souls?

Such damnation, your sins rival that of a gypsy, it shall be for you all that Notre Dame tolls.

We've a captain more defiant than Phoebus, a witch demon, and one who can't keep his pets by his side

Then there's a puppy killer, Octomom and the kitten committing the horrid sin of fratricide.

Lastly the "town hero", so distraught over a female, even Quasimodo bangs more Belles.

I shall smite the wicked and plunge them into the fiery out, prepare to taste the fires of hell!

Hellfire? How about you see fire spit from Hell himself?

I rain Pain and spray volcanic Panic! And the planets tell

Of the GOD of six feet under trippin' villain misfits

Killing lyrics so sick, their souls are swimming in the Styx!

So Hades Nutz! And bow to this immoral, immortal tyrant!

Frollo, why you always dyin'? Scar, why you always lion?

I'm true evil, above your errors of schemes and fairy spells.

It's blatant: there's no escaping when you're damned to my realm!

Hold it, Hollywood. Hand me the mic and raise the banner

I'll out the beat in a box and then I’LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER

Snuff out the lights on all with fright, bring forth a true life of darkness

Compared to me you’re all nobodies, I’m the harshest, most heartless,

Plus potent with potions, powerful, and pushy

I fought back as a cat, Scar, but you’re just a puss*!

The eminent empress! I'm the greatest villain ever!

Now pull the lever, Kronk! (uhhhh….)

Back off bitch, allow the dealer to get meaner

The doc's in, stormin' the barn harder than Katrina

Real magic, no hat tricks, Hades, we've got an agreement:

I've got spirits on my side, sea saps and street rats will feel it.

Jazz and pizzazz to outlast and outrap these spastic outcasts

Gaston’s a bastard, Jaf’s a quack, and Mal’s caught in the act

I’ll bruise you all with beaucoup voodoo, hoodoo, stuff I ain’t even tried

Doctor’s orders: damn you all to my Friends on the Other Side.

Sit down, Shadow Man. Go back to the "friends" to which you're indebted,

I'll be cracking the backs of villains who try to fight to see who's more pathetic.

They say my breath is bad, and yet it’s your rap that are fetid!

When wretched rejects wanna be hectic and dreaded, I'M GONNA WRECK IT!

You're all busy getting bested by frogs, crocs, dogs, and llamas,

While I'm busy fighting aliens and solving candy-coated drama.

I'm nice and from Niceland. I'll leave you seeing a World of Color,

When it comes to burning rubber and helping those who suffer, there ain't no other.

Take a lesson from me, and see the light of being good.

Turn your backs on being evil and show you're just misunderstood.

I'm a hero at heart, even if I'm a bad guy in my game.

And deep down, I'm sure you guys aren't bad either. You just rap that way.